Our Quest in finding Love

We are all looking for love one way or another, yet so many of us struggle to find it. We go out, we meet people, we go on dates, we get into relationships. Things seem to be going well for a while, then problems start to arise, and perhaps we start to see the person is not what we were looking for or hoped for. Then we try harder to make things work or break up. We might neglect our needs and start to feel resentment or we start arguing and push the other person away more. Eventually we end up disappointed and hurt.

We are afraid, we want to avoid of getting hurt again at any cost so we try to do things differently next time yet we end up in the same situation then close down emotionally. We go in all sorts of games trying to avoid of getting hurt but we are still aiming to get the love we are looking for. We seem to continue this loop over and over.

We don’t realise the first relationship we need to cultivate and develop is the relationship with ourselves. How do we relate with ourselves? Do we know our blind spots? Are we aware of our weaknesses, our triggers? What are our needs? Do we know how we want to be loved? Do we express these to our partners? Do we take responsibility for our actions? Most importantly can we sit down and be brutally honest with ourselves? All these questions should be asked in terms of how do we connect with ourselves. If we don’t know how to do that we can’t expect the other person to read our mind and make us happy.

If we were honest with ourselves first then share our true self, open up and be honest with each other, we all could save a lot of time and disappointment. And it might lead us closer to what we are looking for, the real deal.

What would it take to be completely open and share our deepest desire from the beginning? It requires courage. Courage to be vulnerable and hope that the other person will understand us.

May we have the courage to open up and start relating with each other in a different way.