Self Love . . .

Many people talk about it and its benefits and how it is the base of all our internal work. But what does it really mean, and how can we love ourselves on a daily basis?

Is self-love making a delicious meal for ourselves, having a bubble bath surrounded by candles, or putting on our favorite music? These all can be part of it, yes, but loving ourselves on a daily basis is much more than that. It means putting ourselves first and on an equal basis as everyone else, not putting everyone’s needs above our own all the time. Loving ourselves means saying, “I love you as much as I love myself, therefore I am not going out tonight because I really need to rest.” It is not because I don’t love you but because right now, if I don’t rest and put your wish to go out first, it would mean I would neglect myself and be more tired and lethargic tomorrow. Doing this without feeling bad about it. If we are ill, loving ourselves can mean calling in sick to work rather than trying to push through it, as we might have done before, resulting in being more ill or prolonging the healing process.

You see, most of us were not taught to put ourselves and our needs first. Now, I am not talking about developing an egoistic attitude where you always have to have your way. No, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that your needs are as equally important as the other person’s. That certainly will come with some compromise, especially in a relationship or a friendship, if we have different needs. Communicating that and trying to come to an understanding and a solution that works for both parties is a healthy way of connecting, rather than always doing what the other person wants so that you don’t upset them.

If you love burgers and tend to eat a lot, for instance, loving yourself means cutting back on those and trying to create a more balanced and healthier diet.